Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in existentialself's LiveJournal:

Thursday, May 1st, 2003
10:16 am	my lungs wont take you for granted event? i am a little confused as to why they call the field that i am currently writing in "Event." "Subject" I get, but it seems to me that much of what is actually put into the event section of live journal could actually be called an event. I feel like its a means to kind of trick live journal writers into thinking that they lead eventful and meaning full lives, though i hold no such delusion. I dont know why this journal exists anymore, i dont have shit to say, they only part that i really like it where you get to fill out your mood and current music. mood because those stars look funny when they bounce and music because i like to lord my taste over everyone else, hell yeah I am fucking eclectic! Current Mood: quixotic Current Music: everytime I die - punch-drunk punk rock romance (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 30th, 2003
8:30 pm	its time to party . . . Luau time!! or it was about 24 hours ago. Damn son, i put down a large quanity booze. i also wore a fucking grass skirt and bikini top, it was killer. i got no sleep, but that about on par with the rest of my life . . . oh well. im gonna go do work now, once the simpsons are over. Current Mood: groggy Current Music: Poison The Well, My Mirror No Longer Reflects (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 16th, 2003
4:30 pm	by the way Well Hannah, the computer says it is fated, so it must be good! where else can i get wasted and laid for the price of a cup for the beer? hangovers, ha! who cares when i'm having fun! let's do a kegstand! find out what kind party you belong at @ tara's website. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
4:05 pm	lets get down to business Ahh, spring break. wonderful. i have nothing to do. I spent the last two days just getting fucked up. Last night was fucking hilarious. We came back to my house around midnight, and decided to put a few more down. ben and matt passed out right before Tara and her boy get here with some random chick. she is looking for a party down the street, so I try to figure which house she is looking for. The kid who are throwing the party parents are divorced and live accross the street from eachother. Anyway, i went into that party had a beer with the kids mom and brought tara and her boy over. I like taras new boyfriend, smart kid. Some drunk kid had traded his pants with some girls skirt. we taught him the Prisoners Dilema and then applied it to his situation. He won, he got his pants ad got to keep her skirt. I was amused. Ben missed 4 hours of fun by passing out at 12! Happy break all! i know im kicking it hard . . . Current Mood: good Current Music: Eminem 'White America' (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 3rd, 2003
11:36 pm	leaving the bar behind Fucking tired . . . i always am, but its getting worse now, i feel like im burning out. I dont understand how though, its not like i do shit, i guess i just dont sleep well. I wonder who reads these other than hannah. I feel like i am talking to myself sometimes. oh well, i think i am good conversation! Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Tom Waits - Used Songs (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 26th, 2003
11:20 pm	she loves you, big river, more than me Coheed and Cambria, sigh, what have you become. Adam was talking on the Ride up to B more all about how Hopesfall and Coheed changed the way he played music. Hopesfall for sure hada huge impact on the way i listen to music and how i play, or wish i could play. That didnt keep me from being dissapointed. I will never forget the first time i saw them play. It just leveled me, i never thought that they could transfer that insentity and intricate guitar work from album to live. It just blew me away. I guess i felt like something fell short. I guess i felt like they blew up to big, i guess i am selfish about hardcore. I cant wait until hot water music comes around again, that band just blows my mind more and more. as cool as Hopesfall are, i just dont think any band will make me feel like HWM do. Every emo band out there owes something to them, becasue when Taking Back Sunday or even Coheed makes puts out their second and third albums and they suck, HWM will still have more passion and integrity than they could ever hope to match without even having to sew their hearts on their sleves. Thats my rant for now. Current Mood: complacent Current Music: Hot Water Music - No Division (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 23rd, 2003
4:04 pm	The dichotomy of my life way very well start to kill me. but who knows, isnt that half the fun? not knowing if any of it is gonna work out? razors edge baby, that me! At least i got to see the old crew last night, while hanging out with the new one. worlds collide but Ben Adam and I have been through FAR to much to ever turn our backs. OK i'm off to work now. Current Mood: tired Current Music: A Static Lullaby - Don't forget to breathe (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 16th, 2003
7:15 pm	Life is far to ironic for my own taste far to frequently. Last night, both living it and in retrospect, something just did not seem to fit at all. Hannah and I went to balck cat to partake in the Smiths/Cure dance party, and for many reasons, none of which are my business to divuldge, it was a very unwelcoming scene. Yes, everything about Black Cat reeks of pretention and cliquish mentality, but i always felt like i was part of that, and i guess i still do. I dont think hannah does anymore. Aside from that, the party was just dull. It was cool running into some very old friends. I hate losing track of people like that. You just kinda peacefully drift apart. it was good seeing nater also. anyway, we left and went to the frat house. A place where i would have never have felt welcome, or at least never expected to enjoy. But i do, a lot, i truly enjoy all the people i encounted in that house. Its so strange that those who share my love for the smiths would treat me like an ass hole, while a fratinity would welcome me. Valentines day kinda sucked, and i guess the day after did kinda too, but once we hit sunday morning, it was fucking kicking. Oh well. And in resonse to all those who are so offended by my choice to join a frat, i give no appoligies. This was and still is a choice i am very proud of. I like to think that i am always able to expand my horizons. i am still the same person. I dont love Dispatch now of anything, i still have the same tattoo, listen to the same records, and think the same things. I am still the same person, and if you were my friend before, you should still be. Its fine to be shocked, lord knows I am, but i want to say thank you to all the people who have supported me in my decisions. I make it sound like i have done something huge, all i did was join a frat! OK i am gonna stop being so dramatic now! much love to all . . . Sam Current Mood: amused Current Music: Stretch Armstrong - for the record (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, February 14th, 2003
3:40 pm	Don't forget all those times we spent hours staring at blank walls, cuz thats what counts. i love you! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: coldplay (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 12th, 2003
4:00 pm	here we go again thank you hannah, for getting me involved in yet another internet community. perhaps now i will learn to type correcly. something like that. The idea of this is to keep in touch with the people i never talk to, all the people i miss. So I am gonna work on spreading this like a disease to ensure we all become losers. god help us all. I was like 15 mins late to my first pledge event, you know, cuz i am that cool. My pledge class seems like cool people. I showed them the add for 'Girls Gone Wild live in DC' and convinced them all to go to this bar to see if they could get in and see some tits. I also interrupted their serious discussions of pledge events by reading passages of Savage Love out loud. WOOO! Phi Kappa Psi! yes, i am going to have fun with them. later kids Current Mood: calm Current Music: Gin Blossoms - Mrs. Rita (Comment on this)